How Cancer Can Affect Sex and Intimacy
Sex, sexuality, and intimacy are an important part of life. Having cancer doesn’t change this. But cancer treatment can affect how you express your sexuality. You might have changes to your sex organs, sex drive, sexual function, or body image.
There are ways to learn about, manage, and adapt to these changes.
Why is it important to talk about sex, intimacy, and cancer?
Studies show that sex, sexuality, and intimacy are just as important to people who have cancer as they are to people who don’t.
Sex and intimacy can help you deal with the emotions that come from having cancer and getting treatment. But cancer and cancer treatment can affect every part of your sexuality, including your:
- Sex organs
- Sexual desire (sex drive or libido)
- Sexual function and well-being
- Body image
Learning about your sexuality, and how cancer and treatment might affect it, can help you deal with any changes. Just like with any other side effect, your cancer care team can help you understand what you’re going through and give you tools to manage these changes.
If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community
The more information you give your cancer care team, the more they can help you get the personalized care you need. This includes information about your sexual orientation and gender identity, including what sex you were at birth, how you describe yourself now, any procedures you’ve had done, and hormone treatments you may have taken or are taking.
To learn more about the gender terms used here, or how to start this conversation with your cancer care team, see Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, and Cancer Treatment.
How cancer can affect your sexuality
Cancer can cause changes in your body and emotions that affect how you experience sex and express your sexuality.
Some cancer treatments might have little effect on your sexuality. But other treatments can affect how your body works, change your hormone levels, or damage nerves that affect your sexual function.
Some treatments have side effects like fatigue, nausea, bowel or bladder problems, pain, skin problems, or changes in your appearance that might affect your desire and ability to have sex. Some sexual problems get better over time, but others can be lifelong.
Learn more about sexual side effects and how to manage them in Sexual Side Effects.
Talking with your cancer care team about sexual side effects
It’s important to ask your cancer care team how your cancer and treatment might affect sex and intimacy. Ask them what you can expect with your treatment. Continue to talk with them about what's changing with your sexual life as you go through procedures, treatments, and follow-up care.
Don't assume your doctor or nurse will ask you about sex or intimacy problems. You might have to start the conversation.
Many studies have found that doctors, nurses, and other members of a health care team don’t always ask about sexuality during visits. Because of this, you might not get the information, support, or resources you need to help you deal with your feelings and sexual problems.
Be as honest and open as possible.
While you might feel embarrassed, know that sexuality is a normal part of life and any information you share with your cancer care team must be kept confidential. Once a conversation is started, it's easier to continue it and to bring it up again during your future visits.
Ask for referrals if needed.
Your doctor may refer you to a sex educator, counselor, or therapist to help you deal with some fears and worries about the effects of cancer. If physical problems are interfering with your sexuality or sexual function, you might also get referred to a professional who can help with this.
What questions should I ask?
It’s important to know what to expect. Here is a list of questions to help you start the discussion:
- Will my treatment (surgery, radiation, chemo, hormone therapy, etc.) affect my sex life? If so, what can I expect?
- Will the effects last a short time, a long time, or permanently?
- What can be done about these effects?
- Can I see a sex therapist or counselor?
- Are there other treatments that work as well against my cancer but have different side effects?
- Do you have any information I can read, or can you suggest where to find more information?
How do I start the conversation?
There is never a bad time to ask questions about your sexuality.
Maybe you've already had surgery or started treatment but didn't ask questions beforehand. Maybe you asked questions but didn’t get enough information. Maybe you read something on the internet or heard about someone else's experience with the same type of cancer.
Maybe you're able to think more clearly now than when you were first diagnosed and realize you have questions. Whatever the reason, if you are wondering about something, ask.
Here are some ways to start the conversation with your cancer care team:
- "I was reading about (surgery/treatment) and that it might cause sexual problems. Can you explain that to me?"
- "I know someone who went through this same (cancer/treatment) and heard about problems they had with sex. Do you think the same thing might happen to me? Is there anything I can do to manage these problems?"
- "I’m having trouble adjusting to some changes in my body. What can I do?"
Learn as much as possible
Once you start the discussion, it's easier to get and find the information you need. Knowing answers to the questions you have, and knowing what to expect, can help you and your partner understand what's ahead.
Be careful about where you get information. Ask your cancer care team where you can find credible, current, accurate resources.
Counseling might help
A mental health counselor who specializes in dealing with sexual issues can often help you manage sexual problems caused or worsened by anxiety or depression. If a treatment or therapy is recommended, learn as much about it as possible and be sure to check with your insurance company about coverage.
When is the best time to ask questions?
You can ask questions at any time, but you might want to start when you are talking with your cancer care team about treatment options.
If you aren’t ready to ask questions at that time, you can start asking them after surgery or when treatment starts. And you can bring up the subject at any point during or after treatment.
Before surgery or treatment
Before surgery and other treatments, you might want to know about side effects that could affect your sex organs, sexuality, and sexual function. Asking questions now can help you understand what to expect.
Getting the answers you need at this stage can help you make informed treatment decisions. It can also help as you learn to cope with physical and emotional changes as they come up.
During treatment
It's important to keep talking with your cancer care team as you undergo treatment. If you didn't talk about sexuality before surgery or treatment, you can start the conversation now.
Once treatment starts, you may notice changes in your desire or ability to have sex. Let your cancer care team know about any problems or changes so they can help you manage.
After treatment
After you finish treatment, you may continue to have problems with sexuality. These problems might go away over time, but some of them could be lifelong. You might find that these problems affect your ability to be intimate and have sex. They might also affect your relationships.
Be sure to continue reporting problems to your cancer care team. A good time to ask questions is during follow-up visits.
If you are no longer seeing your cancer care team, tell your primary care provider about any new or ongoing problems, as well as what helped or didn’t help in the past. If your primary care provider can’t help you, they can refer you to someone who can.
As part of palliative care
Palliative care providers can also help you deal with sexuality and other quality-of-life concerns. If you are seeing a palliative care team, don’t hesitate to talk to them about problems with sex and sexuality.
If you are living with a serious illness like cancer, palliative care can help at any point, from diagnosis throughout treatment and beyond.
During end-of-life care
Sexuality continues to be important for many people with advanced cancer, and for those whose treatment has stopped working. It's important to keep talking about sexuality and sexual problems with the cancer care or hospice team managing your end-of-life care.
Talking with partners about sexual health and intimacy
If you have a sexual partner, it’s important to talk to them about how cancer and treatment are affecting your sexuality. Sharing cancer-related concerns with your partner can help relieve worries for both of you. It can also help support emotional intimacy and trust.
There is no perfect time to talk about sex. But it might be best to discuss any concerns or changes before becoming sexually intimate.
If you are hesitant to talk about your sexual health with your partner, you might want to try these tips:
- Decide what you want to say ahead of time. Write down your thoughts or share them with a friend.
- Pick a low-stress, unrushed time to talk.
- Find a private place for the discussion.
- Have multiple shorter conversations, if that makes you more comfortable.
- Practice saying sexual terms aloud. Most sex therapists suggest using medical terms. Avoid slang or euphemisms.
- Be open about potential problems and things you both can do to manage these problems.
- Explain or show any physical changes to your body.
- Let your partner know what gives you pleasure and reduces discomfort.
- Let your partner know if anything becomes painful.
Remember that sexual intimacy involves more than intercourse. Experiment with other ways of giving and receiving sexual pleasure.
For partners
Having a supportive partner can help a person feel more attractive and have a better quality of life during and after cancer treatment. You can show your partner you are there for them by listening as they talk about their feelings and any sexual problems they are having.
You might be able to help your partner recognize problems even before they notice them. You might be the first to see your partner’s problems with self-esteem, sexual desire, and sexual function.
You can also help them track side effects that might affect their sexuality. Open communication with a partner can help them cope and feel more comfortable asking for help.
Depending on the type of problem, going with your partner to treatment and checkups might be a good idea. If you go, be prepared to write down what the cancer care team says or ask if you can record the visit.
Learn more
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- References
Developed by the P站视频 medical and editorial content team with medical review and contribution by the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO).
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Last Revised: April 15, 2025
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